wavesinjuly:

suckmyphallus:

getterbeam:

imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.

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Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.

loarts:

vulcan-screw-up:

hannibalspenis:

michuboo:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f33c/

this is important

This is VERY important

WHERE CAN U GET THIS!? * ^ *

zemmer:

more benefits to being a cat

  • loved at any weight
  • its not weird if you’re awake in the middle of the night
  • people believe you when you say the gender of a cat no matter what it looks like
  • no one judges you for not showering or leaving the house
  • you can just leave in the middle of an interaction
  • no deadlines or bills
  • not expected to wear clothing
  • not cold if naked
  • if you do wear clothing you will be considered 500% cute no matter what
  • cute whiskers
  • tail
  • super flexible

of course, that is only how treated by another species. how you would be treated by your own, is an entirely different matter.

Fucking run girl!!!

thornicating:

thornicating:

my family usually eats bagged cereals (you know, the off brand kinds that taste like deceit) and today my mother came home with 15+ boxes of sugared name-brand cereal, dumped them into my arms, and said “i can’t eat lies anymore, caroline.” 

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milesjai:
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