hipster-trichster:

marina-peixes:

svvords:

Why are shorts called shorts but pants arent called longs

she wears short shorts I wear long longs

she’s cheer cheerer and i’m on the sit sits

helenas-hood:

gllob:

a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced

I asked my old science teacher this and he said “I make jokes to make myself laugh because I know I’m funny.”

tuc-ficprompts:

malicemidnight:

sapphirebones:

jaacknasty:

Probably the best 6 seconds ever. 

i fucking lost it

fUC K

OMG IM LAUGHING SO HARD RN HIS FACE WAS ONE OF PURE TERROR OHMYGOD

hip-hop-lifestyle:

"Beyonce is overrat-"

its so rare for something on tumblr to literally make me laugh out loud and holy shit it finally happened

faokryn:

theprettygoodgatsby:

firebirdy:

This may be the best book I have ever purchased. It is definitely in the top 10

whAT BOOK IS THIS

To Be or Not to Be by Ryan North.  Hamlet as a choose-your-own-adventure book.

exhists:

do old people masturbate

never ask a question you don’t want the answer to

jackanthonyfernandez:

Her stupid ass

retronova:

truly a classic.

ben-c:

beautiful-kisses13:

ben-c:

"reblog if you’re not homophobic, keep scrolling if you are" is just tumblr’s equally irritating and pointless version of "share if u love god, ignore for satan"

But I love Satan!

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